Infertility and God

I think many of you would be surprised at the comments people make about infertility, which is topic that 99.9% of the people making these comments know nothing about.  I seriously struggled with infertility for years, having test after test, surgery after surgery and failed IVF after failed IVF.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Before talking to someone with infertility issues I think the best thing you can do is to just think before you speak.  Would you tell a woman who's child has cancer that he wasn't meant to live?  Then don't tell a woman battling infertility that she wasn't mean to have children.

Today one of the women in my Infertility Support Group posted this letter and I appreciate the positive spin it places on the journey that we've gone through.

What do I think God meant when He gave me infertility?

I think He meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper.

I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.

I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols.

I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me to not have children.

That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on.

I've been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I'm a better person for it.

Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment.

I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never experience the joy that I know awaits me.

Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.

And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."